If you're a fan of the videos from Big Idea, you could probably hear Mr. Nezzer's voice when you read the title of this post, as he expresses his disappointment at the lack of thanks for his "lovely gift of chocolate" (Veggie Tales'
Rack, Shack & Benny). True, there are times when pastors and wives can feel overworked, under-paid, and, like fictional Mr. Nezzar, under-appreciated. Especially now, as October winds down and pastor's appreciation month comes to an end, pastors' families around the country may be feeling either special or slighted, depending on what their congregations did or didn't do and say.
I have met some
pastors' wives whose churches really go all out in honoring them.
Others receive some acknowledgement, while still others receive none at
all. I've even met a pastor's wife or two who have served in a church
where only the senior pastor was honored, as if his service to the
church were the only one that was important or valued. They, as
children's and/or youth pastors' wives, were even asked to contribute
to the senior pastor's gift. If you've ever been in that situation, or
even if you have not, this blog entry is for you.
I conducted a little research and found out that pastors'
appreciation month was first established in 1992. I'm not sure by whom,
but I do know that Focus on the Family was instrumental in promoting it
to churches in the mid-to late 90s. It's become more well-known and
publicized in recent years, and companies like Hallmark have even
joined the likes of Dayspring in making clergy appreciation cards now.
With the knowledge of the day, comes a little bit of expectation. It's
a bit like knowing your birthday is approaching and hoping someone will say,
"Happy Birthday" or send you a card.
If no one has said how much they appreciate your service to the Lord, or even if they have, let
me say it to you and to all the pastors and pastors' wives who read this --
I appreciate you. We're in this together and you are a valuable member of God's team. I know how you, pastor and wife, pour of yourselves into your congregation. I know how you love them and/or strive to love when some may seem annoying, exasperating, or otherwise difficult to love. I know how you pray for them in secret and how you do things at church that many may take for granted.
I know how you, pastor's wife, sometimes may struggle to get the family out the door by yourself on Sunday morning because your husband has to be there early. I know how you felt when a church member you considered a friend gave you the cold shoulder because they were upset with your husband. I know how you've sat on pins and needles, wishing you could be a fly on the wall, while your beloved was in a tough meeting that went long.
I also know the joy you've felt as you've seen the fruit of your efforts. I've felt the amazement you've felt as you've seen God work in situations you'd deemed hopeless. I know the discomfort you felt when someone came to you for advice simply because you are the pastor's wife, and the elation you felt when God helped you guide them in His wisdom. And I know the honor and humility you've felt as you've been presented opportunities to serve that are unique to your gifts, personality, and experience. But more importantly than that--God knows, and He's cheering you on.
"For God is not unjust so as to forget your work and the love which you have shown toward His name, in having ministered and in still ministering to the saints." (Hebrews 6:10, NASB95)
Others appreciate you, too. There are Christians all over the United States and Canada who honor pastors by providing
retreat and vacation facilities for pastors, wives, (and sometimes families) at little to no cost. They know your sacrifice, and they are there for you. I have personally stayed at the
Cedarly retreat with my husband, and the house was a
mansion. It is a beautiful place to refresh and renew, and there really was no catch. They didn't use the evening meal to pull out the multi-level marketing plan or the time-share condo opportunity. They simply wanted to encourage
us.
While it is certainly neat to be honored and/or encouraged by your congregation and other Christians, I think it's even "neater" how much God values your service to Him. Did you know that there's a special crown of honor for pastors? Peter calls it the "unfading crown of glory"; or as the New Century Version words it, "a glorious crown that will never lose its beauty". (1 Peter 5:1-4)
So if pastor's appreciation day came and went without anyone noticing, and if pastor's appreciation month has been a bit disappointing, please know that God sees what you do. He sees the love, prayers, and hard work you pour into His sheep; and He says, "well done, my good and faithful servant." In the end, that's what matters the most.
"...because you know that your work in the Lord is never wasted." (1 Corinthians 15:58b, NCV)
Posted by:
Moose
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