Nutrition tips - Who thinks them up?
There are some deep rooted questions that are still yet to be answered, such as:
- Is there life on other planets?
- Is Cherie Blair a reptile?
- Will Liverpool ever win the league again?
- Would the Royal Family ever reveal if they had a spastic child? (Some might say Prince Harry is that child)
But I have a question that is far more important than any of them, who the hell thinks of nutritional tips; where do they come from and if they are genuine what sort of person is doing the research?
As we are still in January there will be a small minority of people still adhering to health regimes. Yes we all over indulged at Christmas (non more so then eternal lard-arse Dawn French, but is that any reason to go on a health drive? Can we not just accept that after each Christmas period we will be a few pounds heavier?
I came across 12 nutritional tips on a health site and thought I would share them with you.
Nutrition Tip 1 - Cut down your visits to a Supermarket! The fear is the more you go the more rubbish you buy - Claptrap. Supermarkets do sell fruit and vegetables and fish as well as all the other rubbish!
Nutrition Tip 2 -Eat Watercress, it contains 12x times more Vitamin C than lettuce and more iron than Spinach. A cheese and watercress sandwich does not have the same appeal as a cheese and lettuce sandwich. Also a roast with spinach is fine, but watercress, you have to be kidding me.
Nutrition Tip 3 - Cut down on fizzy drinks and sodas. Any fool knows that, drink Coke get fat, simple!
Nutrition Tip 4 - Beans are good for you, but if you suffer with wind change to Lentils and split peas. Is not half the fun of eating baked beans to blast the living daylights out of those around you with horrendous wind?
Nutrition Tip 5 - Eat Brazil nuts. Fine if you are gay and live in Brazil!
Nutrition Tip 6 - Eat garlic, leek and onions. Yes but then struggle to have a relationship with anyone witha sense of smell!
Nutrition Tip 7 - Eating healthy eating is not expensive, a bar of chocolate costs more than fruit. Yes, but fruit is not as bloody tasty!
Nutrition Tip 8 - Post menopausal women do not require nutritional supplements! Who cares, they’re all craggy bints anyway?
Nutrition Tip 9 - Eating cheese, milk and meat can contribute to bad breath! So what does the advice in Nutrition Tip 6 do for your breath then?
Nutrition Tip 10 - Add extra vegetables to pizzas! Yes and ruin the bloody flavour, marvelous!
Nutrition Tip 11 - If you are trying to get pregnant, take 400 mcg of Folic acid. Why not try shagging more?
Nutrition Tip 12 - Fish oils can contain heavy metal and dioxins. They must be really good for you then!
If you ask me, all this nutrition stuff is a load of old bull.
Look at the picture to the right and see what following a nutritional diet has done for me!
Have a look at the real nutritional tips.
#1. January 28th, 2008, at 11:09 PM.
Judging by your photo, you look nearly thin enough for the Catwalk.