A few reasons why preppies prefer to marry late.

First, let me tell you how this essay got started. I came across a statistic from the Bureau of Census(2005) that said men and women from the Northeast tend marry at a much later age than the rest of the country. I think the statistic applies to preppy couples in general and here are a few reasons why:

Financial
We all take finances into consideration prior to making a commitment to marry. Raising a family is no joke and it requires money and in some cases lots of it. Principal cost consideration is owning a home. As discussed in Preppy Real Estate, owning a home these days is a bigger commitment than most first-time buyers realize. On top of that, there’s the cost of food, owning a car, healthcare and other items that seems to have risen as well. When you add all these things together, it seems to make sense to delay marriage at a point when one can comfortably shoulder these expenses.

Career
This is likely the principal reason why preppies marry late. Preppies are ambitious types where an early marriage can be seen as having an adverse effect on career enhancing moves such as the pursuit of an MBA. I came across a study once that said the amount of research done by scientists drops as soon as they’re married. Probably not a good thing if you’re shooting for that Research Fellow of the Year award. Then again advances in technology such as email and the web haved helped to ease the situation somewhat by providing conviniences such as the ability to take classes online or telecommuting for example. Also, some business schools are restructuring their programs to entice women, particularly mothers into signing up. Still, the idea of balancing family life and the pursuit of a lofty career can be a difficult prospect in that it’s just better to postpone marriage at a much later time.

Young preppy married couple? J.Crew.

Divorce
Anyone who has been thru a divorce will tell you it’s no picnic. It’s devastating both emotionally and financially. There’s the pain and hassle of hiring lawyers, divvying up conjugal property, determining who gets custody of the children and so on. Take into account the statistic where 50% of marriages end up in divorce and it’s enough to make anyone think twice about making a commitment. There’s also the social stigma associated with being a divorcee. It’s safe to say that prep society is still on the conservative side of things when it comes to the subject of divorce and it's something that’s frowned upon. Divorce can also have a negative effect on one's career. In his book Career Warfare, author David Alessandro writes:

Some years ago, as I was about to get married for the second time, one John Hancock director took me aside and gave me advice. “You are forgiven for one divorce” he said. "You married too early, you grew apart , you spent too much time on your career. But if you blow the second marriage, it’s about you."

In other words, marriage unlike dating, is a public institution that is public even to the upper echelons of the corporate world. Having a divorce can taint your reputation to the point that you can be denied a well deserved promotion.

The Times
Historically, Americans have postponed marriage during times of crisis. The economy seems to be going well and while that’s great, there are still troubling events that can be cause for worry. We’re engaged in a war in Iraq that looks like it won’t be ending any time soon. We’re also living under the constant threat of another major terrorist attack here in the US. All these have raised the price we’re paying at the pump and as a consequence the cost of anything dependent on oil has risen as well. I just saw an analyst on TV predicting we could be paying $4 per gallon in the next few months if things don’t shape up in the Middle East. Careerwise, the outlook isn’t all that rosy either when you think of all the outsourcing going on these days. If you’re job doesn’t require having a face to face conversation with a client or customer, it can be outsourced.

Guarantees
We all want some assurance that we’re committing to the right person and preppies are no exception. As discussed, the thought of going thru a divorce is enough to scare anyone into marriage. Also, no one wants to wake up every morning next to someone you are having regrets being with. Some progressive preppy couples opt for a live in arrangement first to test if they are truly compatible.

Comfort Zone
Lets face it, there are advantages to being single and more so if you're a successful one. There’s that sense of independence and freedom where you feel like you can do anything you want without having to worry about the consequences. Having the feeling that life is easier (and much better) because you don’t have to bear the extra responsibilities that comes with being married. It you’re used to that kind of lifestyle and thinking, it can be difficult to let go. Some preppies choose not to marry altogether. A preppy male friend told me once “I can’t bear the thought of marrying because I just can’t stand all that nagging!”

There’s actually some prestige attributed to marrying late where it is often associated with couples having high levels of education. There's also the prevailing belief that older couples tend to produce better children. It’s probably true if you believe that maturity comes with age and that older couples are more likely to have set ways. But when you factor in all the reasons stated above, it does seem practical to marry late. Preppy men likely marry in their mid to late 30s and preppy women in their late 20s or early 30s. It’s also not just an East Coast thing. When I lived in San Francisco, there was a story in the news about some succesful Silicon Valley entrepreneurs who were planning to postpone marriage until they’re 40 in some cases. Anyway, here are some other statistics to note:

- Maine is the state with the highest rate of singles
- States with the lowest rate of live in couples – the South.